My First Luxury Purchase Wasn’t Just About Fashion—It Was About Finding Myself in New York

When I moved to New York City after 21 years of Ohio cornfields and flannels for fashion,  I experienced a culture shock, especially stepping into a fashion-related job and living a five-minute walk from Dimes Square (New York’s unofficial runway). In Cleveland, I felt confident in my clothes, but in New York, what made me distinct at home made me look basic. Walking down the street at home, it's rare to see a 20-something-year-old draped in Saint Laurent or Celine. Here? They’re wearing that on the way to the gym. 

I have a bad habit of comparing myself to others, and I didn’t drop this while adjusting to New York. Seeing girls my age—and even the guys I talked to—casually own multiple designer pieces, treating them like no big deal, was completely foreign to me. I remember once complimenting a guy I was talking to on his black sweatpants with studs down the seams, only for him to snappily respond, almost perplexed, “Well, yeah, they’re Margiela.”

Apologies. (To my defense, there are memes of characters like this on pages like @nolitadirtbag.) 

It would’ve been easy to impulsively go and buy the first designer item I saw to feel less inferior to my peers, but I realized that if I ever bought something high fashion, it had to be because I wanted to. No impulse buys, no peer pressure to fit in, no lingering regret. It had to feel like me.

Seven months into my time in New York, I decided it was time. Turns out, the brand I’ve always loved is both trendy and cool: Miu Miu. I wanted a Miu Miu bag. Vintage felt more like my speed, so I scoured the internet—eBay, The RealReal, Vestiaire Collective, et cetera. My process was chaotic: I’d find a bag, favorite it, immediately spiral into stress, and close the app, repeat. This went on for two weeks until, one late night on Vestiaire, I saw her. A jet-black Miu Miu handbag. With fringe. It was perfect. It was black, which is what I always go for, but the fringe made it funky in the best way possible. 

Once Vestiaire confirmed it was authentic and met their quality standards, I rejoiced and (im)patiently waited three weeks for it to arrive, checking the tracking number almost daily (or hourly, you get it.)

After a lifetime of admiring designer fashion from afar, owning something felt like more than just a purchase—it was a rite of passage and a way to find myself again. Especially since I write about fashion daily, there’s something satisfying about claiming a tangible piece of that world and history for myself. I use my Miu Miu bag religiously, so I quickly came to understand how just one piece that holds so much value to you can completely elevate any outfit. For me, I’ve always been a look-good, feel-good type of girl, and investing in my first designer piece only reinforced that. Owning something that not only complements my wardrobe but also makes me feel confident every time I wear it—it’s a feeling better than I imagined.

As for my next designer splurge? I’ve been eyeing some vintage suede boots from Saint Laurent and a vintage knit blouse from Celine. Check in with me in a few years... after I get the courage to splurge again.