Disney Villains Cursed Café is the Modern AU of my dreams

I did something horrible. I told Jafar, the scheming vizier villain in Disney’s Aladdin, about cryptocurrency, and now he’s determined to get WyshCoin off the ground by selling the luxurious lifestyle associated with the brand. The problem is he’s actually broke, so I need to brew him teleportation potion after teleportation potion so he can sneak into increasingly extravagant venues in order to sell the illusion of the WyshCoin lifestyle. 

That’s just a day in the life of a potionista (a portmanteau of potion maker and barista) at the Cursed Café, the coffee shop at the center of Disney Villains Cursed Café. The game is a partnership between Disney Studios and indie team Bloom Digital Media. In Disney Villains Cursed Café, I spend time brewing potions, talking to my villainous clientele and helping them achieve their goals (or sometimes, very specifically not helping them). It’s a modern setting, which means the villains all have fun, contemporary designs — and contemporary problems.

Yes, Jafar’s setting up a cryptocurrency, and Snow White’s Evil Queen is running her own pyramid scheme. Meanwhile, Gaston is trying to impress his new golf bros at the country club he just joined. It’s hilarious to see what sorts of villainous shenanigans these iconic characters get up to in a modern, low-stakes setting. They’re taking over the world… in their own ways. And hey, in the year 2025, that does mean having huge social media followings! 

The writing is sharp and funny, with some particularly pointed dialogue options (you can tell the villains that in this modern world, the rulers are the 1%, for instance). Seeing the characters interact is also a highlight. Cruella and the Evil Queen roll their eyes at Gaston’s attempts at dating on “the apps.” Maleficent and Ursula reluctantly team up for a social media collaboration. And throughout it all, the art style is incredibly charming, an elevated rendering of the characters’ Disney movie counterparts with some painterly accents. 

With each in-game day, I have three chances to serve customers. Most of the time, this means picking between two villains to serve. But don’t worry — if it’s Cruella and Jafar at the counter and I pick Jafar, the rest of Cruella’s storyline will still unfold. The brewing mechanic is pretty straightforward; I just look at the recipe list to find the requested potion and then select the ingredients in my cupboards.

Occasionally, the villains will have bigger requests, and taking those on will continue the next big chapters of their plots. They’ll present me with their desired potion, often something malevolent and more complicated. My handy potion book will suggest a “good” option as well: It’ll have the same outcome, but probably result in less property damage. If you want to try a different option — or if you accidentally add the wrong ingredients — you’ll have the choice at the end of the day to buy a re-do from Yzma. The branching is simple, but enjoyable. 

There is also an overarching mystery about the previous owner of the café that continues to perplex me — and is surprisingly complicated to figure out. One time, after I had messed up a day and intended to redo it, Yzma handed me a key that unlocked a secret room that held clues about this mysterious owner. But since I had fumbled the Evil Queen’s storyline, I erased the memories of that day to try again. The second time, though, I didn’t get the key — and a few in-game days later, I still haven’t! I’m not sure what conditions trigger more information about this storyline, but I’m determined to keep selling potions to find out. 

But even if I’m still struggling at figuring out the grander mystery of the Cursed Café, I’m invested in the storylines of my customers. Even if I’m not actually investing in WyshCoin, every time I see Jafar at the counter, I eagerly select him to serve because I just want to know what the heck he’s scheming next. Maybe I’m tapping into my own inner villain by enabling him, but hey, you don’t become the favorite potion brewer of some of the best Disney villains by playing hero. 

Disney Villains Cursed Café was released March 27 on Nintendo Switch, PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X, and Windows PC. The game was reviewed on Nintendo Switch using a download code provided by Disney Games. Vox Media has affiliate partnerships. These do not influence editorial content, though Vox Media may earn commissions for products purchased via affiliate links. You can find additional information about Polygon’s ethics policy here.