Should You Complain About Bad Service On A Flight, Or Only After The Fact?

OMAAT reader Paul asked me an interesting question, which I figure could be worth addressing here. Long story short, he was in business class on an overnight transatlantic American flight, in the bulkhead row. After the meal service, the crew continued to be loud in the galley, while most passengers were trying to sleep. Even with headphones on, it impacted his ability to sleep.

So he politely asked the crew if they could be a little quieter, to which they responded by guilting him, explaining they were just trying to pass the time. Paul asks me if his request was inappropriate, or if the crew was being unreasonable.

Let’s address the big picture question of when it makes sense to address a crew directly.

US airlines don’t have onboard supervisors

I think part of the reason service is sometimes lackluster on US carriers is because the lack of a crew member in a position of authority. At US carriers, the lead flight attendant is simply someone who gets paid a few extra dollars per hour to make announcements and do the paperwork. They don’t have the ability to really discipline the crew, so they’re not actually “supervising” the crew.

Contrast that to foreign carriers, where the purser (or inflight service manager, or customer service director, or whatever they call it) is often actually in a position of authority. Foreign crews sometimes aren’t just scared of being disciplined by management, but also scared of being disciplined by their purser, because they really are an authoritative figure.

When do I address problems onboard?

As a general rule of thumb, I’ll address problems onboard if there’s something which can actionably be done to fix it. For example, I’d mention something to the crew if the cabin is too warm, there’s too much galley noise, the lighting is too bright, etc. After all, you want to give them the chance to fix it.

However, personally I’d almost never address service problems as such onboard a flight. In other words, I’d almost never tell a flight attendant to their face that I thought they were rude, lazy, etc.

The one exception would be if I were flying a foreign carrier, and toward the end of the flight, the purser came around to ask how everything was (which is the norm). In theory, I’d have no qualms saying “to be honest the service was really lackluster,” or whatever the problem might have been.

But I’d never even address it with a purser earlier in the flight. Because even if the purser has a conversation with the crew in an effort to fix it, it would be incredibly awkward to be served by the crew which you just caused to be disciplined.

In fairness, even at the end of the flight, it can be awkward to provide feedback. For example, in early 2024 I took an Oman Air flight, where the flight attendant serving my section was pretty awful. At the end of the flight, I provided some feedback to the cabin manager, and it just got plain awkward.

The cabin manager ended up telling the flight attendant everything, and then she basically gaslighted me, coming up to me and telling me that she has a passion for service, etc. She basically wanted me to tell her that the service was in fact good, and I was wrong. I guess I learned my lesson there…

How my approach differs on US carriers

All that being said, my approach differs considerably on US carriers. Why?

• There’s not an authoritative crew member onboard, which tends to mean all the flight attendants have each others’ backs
• Post-9/11, flight attendants have a lot of latitude to kick people off planes for anything they might consider “disruptive,” which leads to some crews being on power trips

So on US-carriers I’m even milder. I’d only address service issues if it’s something I knew they could easily fix. And then I’ll only address them once. Furthermore, I’d never take a threatening tone, or say anything which could be interpreted in a threatening way (“if you don’t quiet down I’ll complain”)… not that I’d ever take such a tone on other airlines either.

Back to the original question posed by Paul, I think there’s nothing wrong with politely asking the crew to be quieter, if they’re disturbing your sleep. If they have an attitude and refuse to change their approach, then I’d complain to the airline after the fact. It’s unlikely to make a big difference, but still, things like that should be documented.

Bottom line

In theory, there’s nothing wrong with providing polite feedback onboard a flight, if something isn’t up to your standards. The way that feedback will be received probably depends on the service culture at the airline, plus the general crew hierarchy.

In fairness, as an introvert, I typically try to avoid confrontations and unnecessary interactions. And after my experience of providing feedback on Oman Air last year, I’m perhaps a bit less confident when it comes to having faith that feedback will be received without making it awkward for me.

What’s your approach when it comes to addressing crews over service issues?