Window Seat Aisle Access Etiquette: Am I Wrong?

When flying, I’m a window seat guy, for a variety of reasons (not the least of which is that looking out the window never gets old for me). In this post, I want to briefly talk about the etiquette regarding accessing the aisle when seated in a window seat (or middle, I suppose), because I’m curious how many OMAAT readers have a different take…

Mutual obligations of aisle & window seat passengers

Some people prefer aisle seats because they want control of access to the aisle, and don’t want to be at someone else’s mercy. Others prefer window seats so that they won’t be disturbed by others trying to access the aisle.

Broadly speaking, I’d consider the correct etiquette regarding aisle access during the flight to be as follows:

• If I’m seated in the aisle seat, I’ll of course always get up if the person in the window seat needs to use the bathroom, without huffing or puffing
• If I’m seated in a window seat, I try not to consume too many liquids, so that I don’t have to go to the bathroom too often, and I also try to be respectful regarding the timing of using the bathroom, if at all possible; in other words, I’ll try to avoid going to the bathroom when the person in the aisle seat is sleeping, eating, etc.

Let me add one other note, which brings me to the main point of this post. If you’re seated in an aisle seat and someone needs to use the bathroom, you should stand up and let them out, rather than having them climb over you.

I’d argue that’s always the correct etiquette in economy, and it’s also the correct etiquette in a premium cabin, unless we’re talking about a very spacious layout (like a plane with certain types of flat bed seats). One of the reasons it’s important to get up is because it’s a bad practice to pull on the seat in front, and how else are you supposed to balance yourself while climbing over someone, short of giving them a face-to-face lap dance (which also seems like bad etiquette!)?

Why do some people not stand to let people out?

Yesterday I flew Avianca’s A320 business class from Miami to Bogota. In reality, this is almost like intra-Europe business class, in the sense that they’re economy seats with a bit more pitch, and extra width. Still, 33″ of pitch isn’t exactly a lot of space, and that’s especially true when people are reclined.

Anyway, I was in a window seat, and there was a guy in the aisle seat, but we had a bit of a language barrier (which I realized when I asked him if I could get up). So I then pointed to the bathroom, and he clearly understood what I meant. But rather than standing up, he instead maybe moved his knees an inch to the side, and motioned for me to climb over him (by pointing a finger along the floor, and sort of dragging it).

So I did that, and it was an adventure, especially since I’m unwilling to yank on the seat in front for support (so I instead tried to balance myself by pushing against the overhead console area). Go figure the second that I got up, the pilots were getting their bathroom break and breakfast service, while the crew was also blocking the economy aisle, performing service there. So the crew motioned for me to sit back down… which required going back exactly the way I exited into the aisle.

Then 10 minutes later, when the coast was clear, I finally went to the bathroom again, using exactly the same process. All-in-all, I had the pleasure of climbing over this guy, and being way too close for comfort, four times.

This isn’t the first time that something like this has happened to me. Though in the past, I’ve found that after the first time, people proactively get up, because they realize “oh, climbing over someone isn’t really practical.” But that wasn’t the case here.

I’m just puzzled by the psychology of this. Do some people just really hate getting up that much? Or do they just think that climbing over people is the correct way to do it? Have others found themselves in similar situations, with or without a language barrier?

What’s interesting to me is that I witnessed exactly the same thing with two other people in the cabin, who I don’t believe were traveling together (though who knows). Like, are airplane norms just different in Colombia (or Latin America at large), was this an isolated incident, or…?

Bottom line

To me, it seems like basic courtesy for a person seated in an aisle seat to stand up if someone seated next to them needs to use the lavatory. Every once in a while (including on my Avianca flight yesterday), people just don’t seem to think it’s necessary to get up, and want people to climb over them.

I don’t really get it, so I’m curious if I’m in the minority on that, or what. I could be wrong. I mean, a lot of people disagreed with me about putting shoes on lounge furniture, and I learned something there, so hopefully I can learn something here as well.

Where do you stand on the aisle seat passenger getting up when others need to use the lavatory? Under what circumstances is it not needed?