Where Would You Go to Wait for the Apocalypse?

Dylan Thuras: This is Dylan Thuras, and we have a national emergency. The apocalypse is very nearly here. There isn’t really an apocalypse, or at least there are multiple smaller apocalypses happening, but the full one’s not here yet. But this is a question that has occasionally come up at Atlas Obscura. Where might we spend our last days before the apocalypse? It’s a little bit of a similar question to, let’s say you had a terminal illness and you were going to die in three weeks or three months. Where would you go? What would you do? Why? And so, in this episode, we tried to answer this question. Where might we go if it was all coming to an end? Do we want to go somewhere far away and beautiful? Do we want to stay close to home? I was surprised by the answers in this. Because when you ask people what they’re going to do when it all ends, a certain kind of funny and interesting and sometimes sort of tragic truth comes out. Okay. Here’s the episode.

This is an edited transcript of the Atlas Obscura Podcast: a celebration of the world’s strange, incredible, and wondrous places. Find the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and all major podcast apps.

Judith Kargbo: Hi, I’m producer Judith Kargbo. If the apocalypse hits, I want to be at Costco. But not just any Costco, an empty one. No chaos, no stampedes, just me vibing in a sea of industrial shelving and endless snacks. And if the world’s ending, I want to eat my way through a lifetime supply of peanut butter pretzels and mini quiches while riding around on a mobility scooter like I own the place. Also, there’s a comfort in bulk. The apocalypse is terrifying, but somehow staring down Armageddon with 400 rolls of toilet paper behind me feels empowering. Feels like I might make it through the third act of a disaster movie. I can picture it now. Me riding through the aisles on one of those motorized carts, blasting my Beyonce Doomsday playlist from a Bluetooth speaker I didn’t pay for, sipping Kirkland wine straight from the bottle. Peaceful, prepared, plastered. Maybe I’ll let my friends and family come through. Maybe. They gotta call first. You don’t just pull up to the apocalypse Costco without an invite. Plus, I’ll either actually survive and have everything I need, or I’ll go out surrounded by an endless supply of the snacks I love. Definitely a win-win.

Johanna Mayer: Hi, I’m Johanna. I’m the senior producer of the show. And if I knew the apocalypse was coming, I would spend my last day at The Shack. And The Shack is the nickname that we give for my aunt’s cabin in Wenatchee, Washington. It’s in the eastern part of the state, a couple hours outside of Seattle. There’s a beautiful, huge lake there called Lake Wenatchee. It’s a snowmelt lake. But my aunt did not buy lakefront property because that was way too expensive. Instead, she bought meadow front property, which is essentially like across the road from where all the lakefront houses are. And The Shack overlooks a huge meadow that’s just filled with these natural grasses that have all these different changing plants and colors as the seasons go by. And there’s a huge mountain in the background. And she also put these two clawfoot bathtubs in the meadow. I don’t know where she found these tubs or how she got them out there. They’re super heavy. But she has two of them. She set them out in the meadow and turned them into these kind of makeshift hot tubs. She built a fire pit out there. And we would heat water in this huge barrel over the fire and then pour it into these two clawfoot tubs. And we could sit out there in the meadow, in the tubs, looking at the stars, which are so super crystal clear out there at night. And it was just lovely. We used to go out there a lot when I was a kid. And we had this sort of routine where, during the day, my family would do like a ping-pong tournament. And then we would go swimming in the Snowmelt Lake, which was so cold, so, so cold. Like, take your breath away cold. My aunt always had a dog, and they were always poodles. So the poodles would come swimming in the lake with us. It was really fun. They were big dogs. And then we would come home and eat some barbecued ribs and then bust out this archery set. She had an archery set out there. And we would always do that during happy hour, which was less dangerous than it sounds like, actually. No one ever got hurt. The Shack always just felt so separate from the rest of the world. It was like this little pocket that my aunt had really, like, molded into her vision. And I always felt so lucky to get to step into it for a couple days every summer. An added bonus to this is that I think there’s a possibility you actually maybe could survive the apocalypse at The Shack, at least for a little bit. It’s pretty self-sufficient. There’s like a garden patch out there, pretty separate. So that’s where I would head. I’m heading to The Shack.

Kameel Stanley: Okay, where would I spend the last day before the apocalypse? Honestly, a beach. Very much some beach. A good one with great sand, not too hot, not too grainy, and beautiful blue or turquoise water. This is Kameel, executive producer of the show. And anybody who knows me knows that I am a beach baby. I grew up by the water, and I love the water. And there’s just something that calls to me about a large body of water, a beach, the sun, and that’s probably where I would want to be. No particular place, sorry. Just a good beach.

Amanda McGowan: Hello, Atlas listeners. Amanda McGowan here, one of the producers on the show. And this question reminds me of my favorite Twilight Zone episode, which is about this guy who just wants to read all the time, and he cannot catch a break. Like, his wife is always throwing his books out. Like, he’s getting in trouble at work for reading on the job. But then there’s this nuclear explosion, and he’s like, oh, I’m going to die. And he’s getting in trouble at work for reading on the job. But then there’s this nuclear explosion, and he finds out that he’s the last person on Earth. And he has, once he gets over the shock of that, he realizes that now he has all the time in the world to read that he wants. So he’s overjoyed. But spoiler alert, he—this is so horrible—but he, like, trips or something, and his glasses fall off and they break. So he’s now stuck on Earth, surrounded by books that he can’t read. Oh, it’s so horrible. But this makes me think that writing out the apocalypse in some sort of gigantic library would probably be a pretty great way to go. Just pulling books off the shelves. You know, I’m picturing, like, giant rare books in atlases and just, like, getting your fill. Although now I’m thinking about it, if we only have one day, it’s not like you’re going to read that many books cover to cover in one day. So maybe this isn’t the best tactic in the world. I would say a runner-up idea would just be to hang out on the beach all day. That would be my second option.

Manolo Morales: Hi, I’m Manolo Morales, the producer of this show. If I knew the apocalypse was coming, I would spend my last day in a store called Book Off. The Book Off is a Japanese chain that sells manga, CDs, DVDs, game consoles, and toy figures. Now, there’s absolutely nothing here that would help me survive. But the thought of being surrounded by nostalgia is something I’d like to enjoy on my last day before the apocalypse. I say nostalgia because I grew up watching and playing Pokemon. There are plenty of Pokemon stuff in this store, including trading cards that I could never get my hands on because my mom thought they were a waste of money. Getting a chance to own these cards for a moment would just be a thrilling feeling for me. Spend some time reading manga I haven’t read before and create my own Pokemon team with some of the plushies in the store. Traveling to Japan is also on my bucket list. And every time I step into this store, I imagine myself being there. So, I should check this off my list before the apocalypse comes.

Dylan Thuras: Now, we want to ask you this rather depressing question. We want to ask you, Where are you going to spend your last day or your last week before it all goes down? It could be anywhere. It could be a store, a Costco like Judith or a family hangout spot. But let’s say you had infinite possibilities. You could go and be anywhere in the world for the last week. Where are you going to go? Why there? Have you ever been there before? Are you going somewhere familiar? Going somewhere new? You want to see one more thing, do one more thing before you can’t do it anymore? It’s an interesting question. It brings out a certain side of us that maybe we don’t spend enough time thinking about. Anyway, tell us about this place. Tell us about where you’re going before the apocalypse. Give us a call at 315-992-7902 and leave me a message telling me your name and your story. The mailbox will cut you off after a few minutes, so call back in if you get disconnected. Or, you can record a voice memo of any length and email it to us at hello@atlasobscura.com. Go ahead and tell us what you’re going to do before you can’t do it anymore. All right. I’ll see you next time.

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Our podcast is a co-production of Atlas Obscura and Stitcher Studios. The people who make our show include Doug Baldinger, Chris Naka, Kameel Stanley, Johanna Mayer, Manolo Morales, Amanda McGowan, Alexa Lim, Casey Holford, and Luz Fleming. Our theme music is by Sam Tindall. If you like the show, please, please give us a review and rating wherever you get your podcasts.

And of course, obviously, you know, follow, subscribe, never miss an episode. I’m Dylan Thuras, wishing you all the wonder in the world. I’ll see you next time.